With the past as past, I have nothing to do; nor with the future as future. I live now.
Ralph Waldo Emerson
“We” got lucky last Tuesday evening – that’s when my mom seemed to come out of her shell and she came back to “us.”
I’ve started tracking her ups and downs in a journal – not to be morose or anything, but as a way to objectively look back at her changes over time. I wrote on February 7th: Mama is much more with it today – she’s smiling, eating and talking! Once again, I take a deep breath and am very thankful for another day of recognition.
Ellie and I have talked at length about how the Alzheimer’s experience is so different for every individual and we really don’t know what is in store for my mom as her disease progresses. Will she completely lose her ability to speak? Will she become fearful and withdrawn? Will she…? Will she…? And then I remind myself that we have today and I can cherish today. What I do know, with absolute certainty is that my mother, Janet Allen, is still here. The day may come when she does not know me, but she’ll feel my presence and know that she is loved, cared for and remembered.