So my mama hasn’t been doing too well lately.  Seems like there are more “down” days, less connection to what’s going on around her and more anxiety.  Again I ask, is it pain?  Is it agitation?  Is there something I can do to “fix it?”  There is a part of me that understands my mom has Alzheimer’s, that it’s a progressive disease and it will kill her someday. But what happens between now and someday?  I’m pretty sure I avoid thinking about it.  I have a really hard time moving from where my mom is today to “the end.”  It’s not realistic for me to assume she can stay as she is today while she incrementally loses skill and function.  Somehow though, I think that’s what I’ve been doing inside of myself. I want to control something that I have no control over – Alzheimer’s disease – and it sucks!

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